The Stirrings of a Vampire Heart
by Scarlett71177
Summary: There was another kind of temptation I never dreamed would be so strong—one no part of me wanted to fight. Hunger. The siren call of Bella’s body was a force of nature; its own entity with pull and power—a pull that I just could not resist.


Temptation was a state of being I thought I was accustomed to, one I thought I'd mastered in some form or another long, long ago. I'd mistakenly limited that sensation to my thirst, the flaring burn scorching my throat on a daily basis, just a part of my condemnation. My punishment. I thought I'd overcome the strongest lure I would ever know. I thought I'd found the depth of my control. I thought wrong.

There was another kind of temptation I never dreamed would be so strong—one no part of me _wanted_ to fight. _Hunger_. The siren call of Bella's body was a force of nature; its own entity with pull and power—a pull that I just could not resist. All I promised my blushing bride was that I would _try_ to make love with her. Try. I fulfilled my half of the bargain—and kept her alive in the process. However, she'll never know how close our honeymoon came to being a tragedy instead of a happily ever after.

I likened myself to an addict looking for a fix over the scent of her blood, but now… now, as I fused my lips to hers and raced up the stairs to the blue bedroom, I realized I was closer to a deranged lunatic. I wasn't risking my own fate—I was risking hers. I was always risking her life, but I couldn't help myself any more now than I could have eighteen months ago. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I stop? Was her entire body this enticing elixir, urging me to yield, or was I just that weak?

I could feel the smile on Bella's lips at my eagerness to participate in her plan to 'burn off calories,' but I was shocked at my own keenness this time. I was getting better at channeling the excesses but that terrified me. This was no place for complacency, but damn, she made it so difficult.

_Her_ excitement, _her_ desire made me selfish and desperate for more. It was the same old argument—I wanted her to see the danger in this most intimate act, but I did not have the strength to deny her anything. She risked so much to be with me, made me feel more human than I ever had, and I was not strong enough to tell her no. She made me love her from the start—it started with the simple piquing of my curiosity, but arresting me with her angelic beauty, impressing me with her giving nature, astounding me with her ability to love…even me.

At the threshold of the room, I set Bella on her feet. Her body and voice professed their discontent at the abrupt distance between our bodies. Though our lips were still connected, she moaned and stood up on her tip toes to ensnare her fingers in my hair, tugging as firmly as she could, though it felt like little more than a caress, as I pushed the door shut behind me and let my hand resettle on her hip.

I felt the smile return to her lips, and she took in a deep, raspy breath, her hands unwinding from my hair and fumbling blindly for the hem of my T-shirt. I regrettably tore my lips away from hers, smiling at the sound of her ragged breath, and kissed a path across the line of her jaw to her ear. "Slowly, Bella. We don't need to rush."

Clearly not capable of heeding my own advice, my hands slipped under the hem of her shirt as well, my thumb stroking the skin at the small of her back. A sudden shiver ripped through her, never failing to remind me of the negative effect I had on her body.

Or was it?

She pressed herself closer, her chest colliding with mine, her fingers fisting the fabric of my T-shirt with an air of needy desperation. "I want to," she hissed, teeth sinking into my earlobe. I was one-hundred percent sure that vampires couldn't faint, but I felt positively weak in the knees when her tongue, hot and moist, darted out to 'soothe' the bite.

"I don't want to take things slowly this time."

My hands instantly stilled their movement on her back. Was she insane? This was the kind of fear that plagued me from the moment I longed to touch her cheek at Forks High—that I would break, ruin, fracture her, leaving her lifeless in my hands. Taking things slowly had allowed me, by the grace of God, to channel all that excess into the destruction of pillows, wooden bed frames, and headboards instead of my wife's body.

I was forming the standard refusal in my head, ready-made excuses having been a part of my typical conversation with Bella for so long now, when she took advantage of my momentary pause. She wormed her hands between our bodies, warm fingertips ghosting over the skin of my stomach, slowly creeping down toward the waist of my pants. She curled her fingers around the hem and slowly started pulling me toward the bed. I could have stopped her at any second but I complied, an all-too-willing participant.

The coy smile she bit back as her cheeks flushed pink was meant to be innocent, angelic, but I knew better. For truly the devil had crept into that smile to tempt me into wickedness. Every day Bella was getting a bit better at getting what she wanted. She knew how to play the game far better than I ever imagined.

She stood up on her toes, tugging the front of my shirt down to pull my face closer to hers. Her mouth met mine and the familiar electric pulse throbbed in my lips, the current a fine, twisting tendril coursing through my body, snaking around my still heart, constricting. The pressure was wonderfully tight and terrifying all at once. As always, it made me feel unbelievably vulnerable and alive. The sensation seeped deeper, lower, the aching need for release and relief almost as choking and unbearable as it had been last night.

God have mercy on my rotten soul, but I wanted her as much as she wanted me.

I lifted her off the floor, groaning with contentment when she wrapped her legs around my waist, leaving no space between our bodies. My hands slipped further beneath her shirt, splaying out across her back, happy not to encounter any further barriers between us. I could feel every beat of her heart against my palms, a lively, syncopated rhythm pounding against her fragile ribcage. Desperate for oxygen, her lungs constricted tight, and I regretfully tore my mouth from hers, continuing a path down her neck, her pulse points thrumming with the hot rush of her sweet blood beneath my lips. The burning flared in my throat, an angry smoldering, but I disregarded it in favor of more pleasurable sensations.

I turned and flopped back on the bed, cradling her carefully in my arms as her curves pressed tight to my granite physique. My hands continued up her back, bunching and wrinkling her shirt between us, every vertebrae and rib so fragile under my touch. My fingers tangled in her mahogany locks, upsetting the loose chignon at the base of her neck, causing her to laugh as I took pause to finger the tresses as they tumbled down around my face.

_This_ is how I'd longed to touch her from the very beginning. How damned lucky I was to be able to do it now: to feel the warmth of her body, hear the melody of her sighs, and savor the taste of her skin. I never wanted to recover from this addiction.

As if to reinforce my craving, Bella straddled my hips and writhed closer in my stony embrace, causing the most wonderful, white-hot pulse of electricity to zip through my body at the sensation of intimate friction.

I pulled her closer, I couldn't help it, and she inhaled sharply, freezing, her body rigid and unresponsive. Terrified I'd hurt her, my eyes widened and darted up to appraise hers. I made to pull away, but she suddenly and surprisingly responded with unrestrained fervor. Her fingers threaded tight through my hair, crushing her lips to mine as she stifled a moan, and her breasts were pressed tight to my chest—in that moment I could _feel_ her desire for me.

Her body's reaction was kindling, prompting me to respond with equal passion. It was though something inside me sparked and lit a raging fire within my wintry body. The feeling threatened to consume me and my resistance was collapsing, burning up like tinder. I heard the echoed reminder of my own voice to be careful with Bella, flashes of her bruised skin jumping to the forefront of my mind, but I was besieged with my desire for her.

My lips parted and my tongue darted out, tracing the seam of her lips, causing them to part with a deep gasp. Her breath was so sweet, so intoxicating, drawing me in, and tempting me into wanting more.

Completely enraptured, and without my permission, my hands slid around the curve of her ribcage seeking warmth and softness until the tips of my fingers gently grazed the gentle roundness of her breasts. She gasped loudly, worrying me momentarily, but she held the breath in, the arc of her chest concave, and I took full advantage of the space between us.

I palmed the hot, supple flesh, her nipples instantly pebbling beneath my icy touch. She arched her body forcefully against my hands as her teeth sunk into my lower lip. It was all the encouragement I needed.

Bella's heart was pounding, racing, and I could feel a low growl trembling from within me. Control was a concept I couldn't fathom anymore. I tore my lips away from hers and let them trail down her throat to the neck of her T-shirt, her accelerated breathing fueling my yearning. I wanted to show her how much I wanted her, how this was a dream come true, but she was so human, so fragile, and I had already made so many mistakes.

"More," she panted, her hot breath rolling across my cheek like a passionate fog. "Please, more."

Her urging was sheer torture. It was taking every ounce of concentration I had to cautiously monitor not only my body's reactions, but hers as well. The sweet scent of her blood in tandem with the delicious aroma of her arousal was delectable as pheromones coursed through her body, calling to me. I knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her, and I couldn't deny her anything.

I pushed her away slightly as I grasped the hem of her shirt and slowly began drawing it up. Inch by inch of her barely-tanned skin was revealed to me: her navel, her breasts, the sharp, angular planes of her collarbone. Instinctively knowing what I wanted, she raised her arms as I carefully pulled the annoying garment over her head and tossed it carelessly behind me.

She smiled, blushing a faint rose at her exposure, but she was nowhere near as embarrassed as she was that first night. And then the thought of her flushed and shy filled my head and I couldn't let it go. "What do you want more of, Bella?"

_Ahh_ I could smell the rush of blood to her tainted cheeks, her capillaries gorged, expanding. I let my eyes fall shut for a moment, biting my lip in the process as I committed the image to memory.

"This," she replied nervously, grasping my wrists, placing my hands in the center of her chest.

My Bella, always taking me by surprise.

She hissed at the chill of my touch as I palmed her breasts, but I was too enchanted with her to give it more than a passing thought. Her skin was so warm and I adored the way she arched her body against my hands, tipping her head back, eyes closed, lip clenched between her teeth. I sat up at vampire speed and, before she could open her eyes, my lips had descended on her clavicle as I continued to caress her.

She was making the most delicious noises—mewling and moaning as my lips traveled lower on her décolletage—I could feel the gentle hum of each whimper resonate through her chest.

It was_ I_ who wanted more now. I dropped one hand to the waistband of her shorts, the realization dawning on me that 'more' would never be enough—as much as I tried to tell myself otherwise. One touch had not been enough, one kiss had not been enough, and making love with her one million times would _never_ be enough.

Bella began to pull at my shirt as well, and it still amazed me that she didn't cringe at the coolness of my skin. "This needs to come off now," she hissed.

I paused briefly, putting a minute, but painful distance between us, before yanking my T-shirt over my head. I heard the fabric tear in my haste, but I couldn't care less. With all the concern and caution I could muster, I reached out to press my fingertip to her lips, groaning as they parted, her tongue darting out draw my finger into the warmth and wetness of her mouth.

My body was on sensory overload, the air between us was charged with electric particles, a palpable, exciting sensation that I never wanted to lose. I vaguely wondered if it would still exist when Bella became a vampire. Her eyes fluttered closed, and I never wanted to kiss her as badly as I did in that one moment; my tongue danced, I clenched my teeth, fighting the desire to claim her mouth. My body continued to react to her touch, and I moaned, unable to endure the temptation any longer.

I withdrew my finger from her mouth and traced a line down her throat, through the valley between her breasts, the way she shuddered and writhed against me causing sinfully wicked thoughts to creep dangerously into my mind.

I wanted to give Bella what she wanted, to throw a bit of caution to the wind and show her my excitement, the overwhelming desire I had for her in these moments. I craved her, I longed for her caresses, and her kisses called to me.

She pressed herself tight to my chest, the heat of her skin warming mine, the spirited rhythm of her heart vibrating against my own ribcage, creating the faint illusion in my mind, if only for a moment, that my body was alive again. Without my permission, my hands wandered to the waist of her shorts once again, insistently pushing them down over her hips. She helped, impatiently kicking her legs awkwardly until I heard the fabric hit the floor at the end of the bed. Her pulse and breath was racing as she rolled to her right side, her fingers creeping along my waist until she found the button on my pants. She fumbled with it clumsily, swearing once, causing me to smirk.

"Allow me," I offered, divesting myself of the remainder of my clothing faster than she ever could, prompting her to roll her eyes. I laughed, drawing her back in my embrace at vampire speed, happy to see the smile gracing her face as well.

She straddled my hips again, sitting up, the blush returning to her cheeks. "I want to try it like this, this time, OK?"

It was difficult to remember how breakable she was as her heat encompassed me, and my fingers twitched to hold her hips tighter. The serpentine movements of her body above mine, arching and responding to my thrusts, caused an all consuming fire to rip through me. I didn't care that the inferno could burn me, destroy me, I'd gladly be put to death if I could die in her passionate embrace.

Her eyelids fluttered like a butterfly's wings, damp tendrils of her hair clung to her skin, and she had never looked more beautiful. The sweetness of her breath wafted across my face and the rush of her blood through her veins was irresistible. I had lost myself in this moment so long ago; drowning in my desire for her, my growing faith that I could be with her in this way and not kill her was my only life preserver. Perhaps I never should have agreed to this level of intimacy, but somehow, in her arms, everything worked.

I sat up abruptly, taking her in my embrace, letting my lips descend on the pulse point on her neck, the sweet bouquet of her blood permeating her skin. Her fingers threaded through my hair, pulling tight as her body melted against mine. I closed my eyes, savoring the throbbing of her pulse beneath my lips. Her voice was raw, raspy, as she panted, tipping her head back, exposing her throat to my poisonous kisses.

My name spilled from her lips as she shuddered in my arms, and I happily followed her, spiraling down into a place of bliss I was once sure would be banned to me. Forbidden. I savored the moment of being completely lost in her, each one of my senses saturated with Bella: her scent hung thick in the air as I gasped for breath, the sweetness of her skin burnt my lips, the pounding of her heartbeat would forevermore be the rhythm I set my music to, and the warmth of her body seeped into my fingertips, giving me the illusion of body heat. My sixth sense was futile, without purpose when I was with her, but in that one act I liked to fantasize that I knew exactly what she was thinking, knew exactly how she felt, and hoped she was twice as happy as she made me.

"I love you," I breathed against the hollow of her throat as the sway of her hips slowed and she melted, exhausted against my chest.

"Not half as much as I love you," she breathed.

She was witchcraft. Right under my own nose I had been captivated, bewitched. I thought myself so smart, so astute, but she had me beaten from the very beginning; she'd charmed my vampire heart. Bella let me love her, and I never stood a chance against her.


End file.
